Four Emotional Toxins Hurting Your Relationships

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Do you ever get the sense that your relationships aren’t deeply fulfilling you? Maybe people come in and out of your life? Or maybe you know someone who can’t seem to sustain their relationships.

If this is happening to you or someone you know, the cause may be right in front of you. You could be carrying emotions and beliefs that are holding you back from having quality relationships?  It’s time you dump the toxic beliefs and start over.

Here are the four emotional toxins that might be keeping you from connecting and staying connected.  In Biblical terms, if you have these issues, you are living in the flesh

1. Selfishness

Selfishness is usually generated from an early age with feelings of neglect or abandonment. Unfortunately selfishness manifests over a period of years and results in putting your needs, your wants, your desires above all others.  Just by definition, it will naturally cause separation from the people in your life. No one likes a selfish person. If you are stuck in the”what about me” syndrome, it’s time to move on and dump this toxic behavior. Start putting others first. 

2. Bitterness

The countenance of a bitter person is negative, unhappy, depressed, angry, hostile, resentful, agitated, and critical which is very difficult to be around. Bitterness doesn’t happen overnight, it usually comes from serious or grievous hurt. Bitterness is a vicious cycle that breeds more bitterness over the long term. It causes relationships to sour and many times the bitter person is rejected by others even if their bitterness is not directed to them. It has been said that bitterness is like drinking poison, but expecting it to kill someone else when in fact, it is killing the bitter person.  If you are carrying bitterness, the first step you must take is to admit that you are bitter. Identify the cause of the bitterness and let it go.

3. Envy

Are you envious? Do you have a hard time being happy for others when they experience good fortune (a better job, a big raise, a new car, a lavish vacation, etc.). Envy comes from contrasting yourself with an idealized image of another person. The key point is that it is based on a superficial set of information (what we see and perceive is not entirely reality), but it magnifies within us a sense of shame or embarrassment that can threaten our self-stability. This causes us to pull away from relationships (self-preservation) or worse, try to harm the other person (sabotage). If you have envy, it’s time to release it.

4. Drama 

Oh my, are surrounded by DRAMA or know someone that is? Is there always something and everything seems to be catastrophic! The drama that I am referencing here is self-inflicted or manufactured to draw attention to yourself. No one wants to admit that they are dramatic, let’s face it. However, if you are magnifying your responses or emotions in a situation or you are magnifying the situation itself, this drama has a repelling factor on those around you. Drama tears us and others apart. If you want to have freedom from drama, you will need to manage your responses to all challenging situations and make sure you aren’t drawing unnecessary attention to yourself. Dump the drama! 

This I say then, Walk in the Spirit, and ye shall not fulfil the lust of the flesh. Galatians 5:16

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