Do you find yourself over-committed from time to time? Are you running around ragged, accepting all requests that come your way? Does it feel like your to do list somehow grows throughout the day instead of shrinking as you complete your tasks and actions?
You may want to stop and question why this might be happening to you. You could be a people pleaser. Now, I will say that being considerate of others is a wonderful thing. It is important that we think about the feelings of others as long as it doesn’t compromise our personal convictions or interfere with the major priorities we have set before us. In fact, putting others above ourselves is a good thing to do! However, a time of self-evaluation may be needed if you find yourself strung out and over-committed more often than not. You may need to address the root cause of your people pleasing before you are actually able to change.
Ask yourself these questions:
- Am I afraid that I am not measuring up to others or their expectations of me?
- Am I doing what I do to be liked?
- Am I doing it because I need the recognition?
- Do I feel like I will only be accepted if I say yes?
- Do I feel like I will only be appreciated if I do certain things?
- Am I afraid that people won’t see me as capable if I say no?
- Am I afraid that I might not be seen as worthy?
- Do I feel the need to prove myself… my ability, my intelligence, my love, my selflessness?
If you answered yes to any of the above, you need a paradigm shift. The root cause of your people pleasing may be coming from the belief that your self-worth comes from others. This is in direct contraction of the Word of God. You see, God has already deemed us worthy, after all, He sacrificed His Son on the cross for us! That ye would walk worthy of God, who hath called you unto his kingdom and glory. 1 Thessalonians 2:12
Let me share with you one of the most liberating moments of my life. It was when I finally realized that I have absolutely nothing to prove. I decisively freed myself from over-commitment, stress, and fear of what others thought of me when I realized that my self-worth had nothing to do with what I did, but that it comes from the love of God. I tell myself all the time, as long as God is pleased with me, nothing else really matters. So I encourage you to do the same. Remember that our worth comes from our loving heavenly Father. You just have to have the courage to believe that and the faith to trust in Him.
What shall we then say to these things? If God be for us, who can be against us? Romans 8:31