March 2, 2016
Today David and I took Hayden to RU to begin his recovery program. We woke up very early this morning, gathered our things, and headed to the Charlotte airport. Hayden hadn’t slept much last night, so he was quiet and tired on the journey. After we landed in Chicago, we still had an hour and forty-five minute drive. Not much was said in the car. As we neared the facility, the homes became more and more sparse, the country-side was vast, and it seemed as if we were truly in the middle of nowhere. I could hear hints of anxiety in Hayden’s voice as the city turned into a more scenic landscape.
When we finally pulled up to the men’s facility I heard him say, “This can’t be it; I can’t stay here, no mom no.”
My heart was pounding through my chest, I can only imagine what he was going through. The home looks like an old college dorm, just off the road, and in the middle of absolutely nowhere. We went through the double doors and Charles greeted us. Charles had been working with us through the admissions office over the last two weeks. We shuffled in, Hayden went one way and we went another.
In a private room, we met with the Intervention Counselor. He asked us what Hayden’s story was and we basically explained the last seven years in fifteen minutes with hopes that he understood the big things. #1 Our son has a sin problem, he’s an addict; #2 our son has rejected God; and #3 we want to help him conquer his sin and accept that God is real and we would do anything in our power to help him.
By the time they brought Hayden to us, he was very upset, angry, terrified and wanting desperately to convince us that he could not stay and that there was no way that this program could work for him (primarily because it is a Christian based program and he is running from God). He begged us to take him back home to Charlotte, I could see his heart beating through his shirt from across the room. The look in his eyes at that moment is unfortunately pierce in my mind forever. I had to walk away. I told him that I loved him, turned away, and left him with a stranger who was going through his bags and getting him settled in his room. He is sharing his room with another young man around his age who has been in the program for a few weeks already. I know nothing else about his roommate.
We are trusting the staff at RU to show Hayden the love of God and the truth of the Word. God has done so much to orchestrate this very moment. He has helped Hayden come this far and He will take him to the finish line. I must keep the faith. While I am so very sad, even scared, and somewhat worried, but I must stay strong for him. It would not be good for me to fall apart now. So I pray, and await Hayden’s deliverance. The power of the almighty God is around us every day, but the devil will try to destroy us. Yet 1 John 4:4 promises us that Ye are of God, little children, and have overcome them: because greater is he that is in you, than he that is in the world.
This will be a journey and today was just the beginning. In a way, I envisioned everything being so different, drastically different actually. But our ways aren’t the Lord’s ways, are they? I must trust in the Lord, this is a test of my faith as well. I know that the Almighty has His hands on us. I turn it over to Him and for the first time in 19 years (Hayden’s whole life), I cannot hold the wheel, I have given it to God. Psalms 37:5
I can see a time in the future when Hayden will say that he is glad for this very day. This day that we all hated living through. He will thank us for bringing him to RU. He will accept the Lord Jesus and he will know that he is forgiven. I can see the day when he smiles with true joy, and when he is victorious and has been set free!!
Thank you for your prayers, love, and concern. David and I are blessed by the number of people who have prayed for Hayden and for us. We are humbled by the goodness and mercy of God. We are looking forward to celebrating with Hayden in six months when he returns home. Keep praying.
“And ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free.” John 8:32